Radio Silence

Click. Silence. No more words to broadcast.
Blank paper. Frozen. Pen in hand.
Nothing to write.
Busy with this and that. A new adventure.
Not much to say.
Radio silence.

This idea of radio silence has been rolling around in my mind during the months when my blog was dormant.

Where did it come from? And what happens when it’s finally over?

I am coming out of a season of radio silence when I stopped sharing my writing, and sometimes, I have stopped writing altogether.

“In telecommunication, radio silence is a status in which all fixed or mobile radio stations in an area are asked to stop transmitting for safety or security reasons.” 1

Another explanation I found from Miriam-Webster is, “In military operations, radio silence is usually a command issued from above, as out of fear that a signal might be intercepted by an enemy. And maritime radio operators, for example, might follow a directive of radio silence in order to hear faint distress signals.”2

As I began to share my writing, stories, and myself, things began to surface that I didn’t much like. Some things I didn’t really like about myself began to emerge; old memories, hurts, and pains. Fear and familiar inadequacies came knocking on my condo door to discourage me.

During my silence, I spoke to a trusted counsellor who helped me confront and work through them so I could find my voice and share my stories again. I am also thankful for my family, friends, and fellow writers, who helped me during my time of doubt.

When the radio was silent, I revisited the lessons I had learned. Things I thought I wanted out of life; I realized I only wanted to like them, which weren’t really what I wanted. There were also things I had no idea was in the path God had laid before me.

So, I did as I do, I tried to do the next right thing.

Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119:105

I have always loved that verse, but it strikes me that it talks about the light being enough for your feet to know where they need to go. There only ever seemed to be enough light for me to know where my next footstep should go. That is what I did.

I took steps.

I went ‘back to school’ and have just begun my third year of a Masters in Christian Leadership from Crest Leadership Academy. If all goes well, I will graduate in 9 months. I finished a coaching certification and became a Kolbe Consultant. I also did a 9-month business program.

During that radio silence, I also got to work on my book. If you’ve known me for a while, you’ve heard about this caterpillar I’ve been dreaming of writing about. Well, I’ve been doing it and working with a publisher and illustrator, and hopefully, by year’s end, we will have news about when it will be available to the public, and she won’t be just living in my head. Her name is Lily…

Most importantly, I turned the radio off in my head, the tracks that told me I couldn’t; I wasn’t enough, _______ insert negative thought here. Actually, I can’t fill that blank in because those lies don’t live in my head anymore.

Radio Silence wasn’t just what I did in my external communication – it was also what I had to do in my internal communication. I had to turn the radio off so I could hear the still, small voice of the Maker and hear what He had to say.

Then and only then could I turn the other radio back on and resume regular transmission.

I hope you tune in again to hear more Reflections in the Rear View.

What is your next step? How I can help you on your journey? Here are a few options. Let’s start a conversation today. charity@charitymongrain.ca