My last blog left off on November 11th, just 12 days after my surgery but 9 days before I’d be discharged from the hospital. I spent those extra days lying on my back as the brain-fluid leak healed up slowly.

I was so blessed to have amazing medical staff who not only took great care of me but also came by to visit, even when I wasn’t their patient. I found ways to pass the time (a story for another day), and I had some great friends and family visit regularly. I had hoped to be home by my birthday, but I was released a day later.

Recovery wasn’t too bad. I had 6 weeks where I couldn’t lift anything or bend over, which was pretty easy to avoid with my family doting on me. BUT the six weeks of not being able to blow my nose or sneeze with my mouth closed was a bit more difficult. I also had a nice sinus headache for a few of those weeks.

But after I saw my ENT and he scoped up my nose, he gave me the all clear to “clear” my nose with a rinse and blowing again. My life (and breathing) improved greatly.

Skip this next part if you are squeamish.

The craziest part of healing (which is still true today): I learned the smell of boogers. Yes, I know it’s bizarre, but after surgery, I kept smelling the most awful smell. I am not even sure how to describe it. At first, I thought it might be the remnants of the spinal fluid leak, but nope, I discovered it was something different after I began the nose rinses. The rinse dislodged chunks, I mean chunks the size of nickels and quarters. Brutal things. But once those crazy green chunks cleared my nasal passage, the smell was gone. I didn’t expect to get a new talent from my surgery, but there you have it, I got one. I still get the smell every so often, and it’s a clear signal it’s time to rinse.

Gross part over!

As for the sinus headache, it too went away.

I haven’t had a MIGRAINE since my surgery. Praise God! I’ve had a few headaches from time to time, but the wildest thing happens … I take meds and they go away. Brilliant, right? This was never the case before. Meds did nothing for me. I actually have cried a few times when relief came. I had lived through several years of constant pain, and it was amazing to see the pain leave with just meds after Pete was evicted. To some this may seem small, but to me it is huge.

It took some time for my energy to come back. I preached for the first time mid-December, but I didn’t go back to work at the church properly until the New Year.

I have also been enjoying a clear mind, the ability to think long-term, and the ability to plan. The brain fog I sometimes experienced made it difficult to think. It was hard for me not being able to rely on my health, but now I am able to manage life as I did pre-tumor diagnosis.

I have struggled with a few things.

It took longer to get back to “normal” than I had hoped. A few people would remind me I only had brain surgery (some) months ago. But I have always had unrealistic expectations, and I didn’t handle the disappointment well. Proverbs 13:12 has begun to have a new understanding for me: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

I also thought that there were a few things that would change (quickly) after my surgery. The tumor affected my weight-gain, so I thought with it gone the weight would go, too. I did lose some but not as much as I’d hoped nor as quickly as I had hoped. So that journey continues.

I also was facing some “closed doors” that I thought were only closed because of my health journey and thought they would open immediately. NOPE. That was not the case. They didn’t open and that really hit me harder emotionally than I was willing to admit until recently.

I was working on being so positive that I wouldn’t let myself grieve the trauma of the tomorrow until I hit a wall and had to come to grips with those emotions.

Now I am still working to find my new normal. What my brain and body will let me accomplish and what God has in store for me. This journey contines as well.

Stay tuned for more to come.